No One Puts Great Grandma In A Corner
I often think of great-grandma, my husband's grandmother. She was small, weighing around ninety pounds. She diminished into a more petite frame over time, except for her snow-white mane of hair. I met her when I was twenty-three, and she was eighty-nine, sparkly eyes beneath her spectacles yet to have experienced her first airplane ride to visit her daughter at the age of ninety-three.
I would enter my in-law's house's small, poorly lit living room. Great-Grandma always sat in the corner of a yellow, floral sleeper sofa, the table lamp shining on her work-in-progress needlepoint. She presented her family, three children, and their children a pillow or a wall hanging every year at Christmas.
"Oh, thank you, Grandma," we would say, getting up from our place on the floor, or stool or chair, and hug her. I never thought about who I was embracing and the meticulous effort she put into designing and stitching her gifts for us.
"There, there", she would say. "My pleasure."
We attended the Miller-Kulman reunion every summer for thirty years. Great-grandma was a Kuhlman. Her parent, farmers, emigrated from Germany, farmed in the Barrington area, and had nine children. Great-grandma was a twin, and another set of twins was born into the family. She married at nineteen, moved to town with her husband, a carpenter, and had three children, ten grandchildren, and countless great and great-great-grandchildren.
Although I meant to, I never asked her what she remembered about her first automobile ride, what she thought about air travel, and what support she had for raising her children. Was she lonely in town? How did she feel when her two sons fought in World War II? Did she have to work during the depression? When did she start to needlepoint? Does she have a vision for her work or follow a pattern? How did she feel about breaking up housekeeping? What stories does she remember from her parents about the old country? Did she attend school? How did she learn to read? Did she have any secret ambitions or dreams? What is it like for her to live past one hundred? Does she still feel close to her siblings even though they passed away? What Bible verses does she know by heart? What is her deepest wish for her family? Was it love at first sight when she met great-grandpa, or was it an arranged marriage?
I always thought there would be time to ask those questions. I had all the opportunities I could want. I could have spent hours talking with Great-Grandma even in the nursing home where she lived from age ninety-eight to one hundred and four.
Her stories would have contained invaluable insights into the past and life lessons. She lived through two World Wars, the Great Depression and the 1918 influenza pandemic. Her life story is a testament to the evolution of an agrarian to industrial society, inventions such as the telephone and washing machines, and culture over a century. From horse-drawn carriages to space exploration, from handwritten letters to instant messaging, her experiences witnessed a transformation.
Her stories, like so many others, remain to a great extent untold. This is the significance of legacy memoirs. Let's think about documenting these stories of our loved ones while we can, regardless of whether your family has a compelling story to tell and leave as a legacy for your family about family members or about a family business. These stories are living treasure troves of history and culture. The stories can help us navigate our lives.
Legacy memoirs, whether personal or about your family, are essential for several reasons:
Preservation of History: Legacy memoirs capture the history and culture of a bygone era, ensuring that the past is remembered.
Transfer of Wisdom: They pass down valuable life lessons, guiding future generations through the challenges.
Family Bonds: Sharing and recording stories fosters stronger family connections, creating a sense of unity.
Healing and Closure: Writing or reading a legacy memoir can be a therapeutic process, helping individuals come to terms with their history and that of their ancestors.
Inspiration: The stories of ordinary people who have lived extraordinary lives can inspire others to strive for greatness.
Our great-grandmother's story is just one of millions of untold stories waiting to be discovered. Every person's life is a unique and valuable narrative, contributing to the rich tapestry of human history. Document these stories through legacy memoirs, and we ensure that the lessons and experiences of our ancestors continue to guide and inspire us.
I am inspired to write these stories for others in part because my great-grandfather wrote one about his life and business in the Wild West, starting a wool and fur trading business at the age of twelve. I have cherished his story and, therefore, him my entire life. As a ghostwriter, I've had the privilege of bringing many such stories to life. Please consider preserving the legacy of your own loved ones or their businesses. The value of these memoirs is immeasurable, and the gift of their wisdom continues giving, generation after generation. Don't let the stories of your great-grandparents remain hidden in a corner; let their voices be heard, their knowledge shared, and their legacies celebrated.